Restart

anybody

Okay, tell me if you’ve heard this one.  Girl is a runner and a gym rat. She decides to start a blog so she can share all about her adventures and along the way she managed to gain weight instead of maintain or lose. So she loses  the weight and shares that on the blog. Then she gains it back and stops blogging. So have you heard of that one before?

My intentions were to be at least 20 lbs lighter by now. But as always I let excuses and a huge dose of laziness take over. It’s like I wanted to pretend it wasn’t THAT bad and if threw on some Spanx maybe no one would notice.

spanx

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It’s incredibly awful.  It’s frustrating and mentally tiring. I have no one to blame except myself.

At this point you may be asking…………what’s your point? Well, a couple of years ago after being called pregnant (when I was not) in a huge way  (“Oh good your pregnant, I thought you had just gotten fat!” True story, it was said out loud to me) and I got pissed about it (a rant about it here) I said enough is enough and I gave myself 6 months to lose the weight. Well, here I am again. This time I know that when I lose it I’ll have to continue to fight for it. That’s my point.

Friday’s are weigh in day. I have to count calories, log them in and do the workouts. It truly has to be a lifestyle change. A mindset change as well. It’s not like I don’t know what to do or how to do it.

And also keep in mind  that I’m not saying my way is the only way or the right way…..it’s just what works for me.

Feel free to keep up with me here, here or here as I breathe life back into this quiet little blog. I’m praying for big, bold changes that are all good.

Till next time……….

Cheers! 

Round Is A Shape

Okay so I know I’ve been MIA.  I haven’t had motivation to write I guess.  I think the last time I wrote anything it said something like “Hello June.”  Soon it was goodbye June and hello July and the vicious cycle continued.  I find myself saying “They’re only so many hours in the day and you can only do what you can do.” It’s partially true but quiet honestly, we make time for what we really want to do or don’t want to do. Never thought I would find time to do nothing.

Anyways, this summer has been some what productive. I have been working out in my garage with a few friends, my husband calls it “Garage Pilates” but really, it’s  a mix up of pilates with Jillan Michaels with a dab of circuit training.  I’ve done more push ups this summer than I have in the last year!!  It’s been good for me.  I’ve also been logging in low mileage and beyond that…..that’s it.


With that being said, I am sad to say I’ve put back on a good bit of weight that I had so proudly lost.  It started with Christmas candy my mother made 2 Christmases ago. And I made an attack plan post Christmas with high mileage involved. I was prepped for beast mode. Then my Dad passed away and I don’t remember much of the rest of 2014. It’s a blur.  I wouldn’t say I binged my way through the year or self-soothed myself with food. I just didn’t pay attention to what I ate.  I ate whatever.  No mindfulness or care. I just ate.

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I am grateful for very supportive friends because through the blur they kept me going and encouraging me to keep moving forward. Even if they knew what they were doing or didn’t, they helped me to keep moving forward.  I did a half marathon that should have been a full and I did  another half marathon that should have been faster. But I finished.

You know, I always thought I was so big and bad and tough and could weather anything. After several rounds with life I’ve learned I’m not as weatherproof as I would like to imagine myself to be. Over the last several years life has thrown some serious upper cuts and sadly I backed into my corner to sit till I saw an apporpriate time to reemerge. The younger version of myself would have kicked my butt from here till the next state if I’d had known I would one day have a spirit of fear and defeat. How awful!!! I’m working on it. Maybe that’s the part of growing up and going through the trials and tribulations of life. Learning to be weatherproof (or some version of it). Anyways, I’ve hidden from you guys because I was so disappointed with myself for A. not weathering life a little better and B. not keeping the weight off.  I jusitified a lot of it by saying “Oh, I don’t need to share everything.” Or “I’m just not that into the blogging thing anymore .” I’m so full of crap.  I was lying to myself and hiding at the same time.

So I’ve recommited myself to the good fight. To be a better version of myself. Happier, healthier and stronger.


So I guess all that’s left to say is……

Hello April!

hello april

I say this all the time but………time flies!  Okay it could be because I have no concept of time.  So being in a new month totally is blowing my mind. I’m not exaggerating one bit. I feel like March was shorter than February!!  So……….Hello April!

New month, new goals, new resolutions. It sounds tiresome I know and honestly some times it is. However, I feel like it necessary in order to not be too lazy and a way to remain conscience in my everyday living. I think so many times we take our daily routine for granted and before you know it, we’re in a new season of life (or month) and we have nothing to show for it.  So yes every week, month, and year I set small goals/ resolutions.  Sometimes I pile on too many and I set myself up for failure. Others, are more realistic and attainable.

This year has really been about my quiet time. Making sure that I set time aside for my own quiet time and in addition to that having a desire to spend this time with an eager heart. Not a chore but a true want. Not just ticking off the to do list of “Yep, got that done, next!” But craving and wanting to have quiet time and actually doing it.

Now that’s not to say that I have  put my running on the back burner. In fact it’s just the opposite. Running keeps me sane in an insane world. Running keeps me moving. If I’m tired…..move. If I feel yucky…..move. If I feel lazy…….you guessed it..move!

So here’s to another month filled with wishes, hopes and dreams!  Cheers!

“While wishing and hoping makes you a dreamer, acting and doing makes you someone who can turn dreams into reality.” Nan S. Russell

We Interrupt This Running Program

I’m running so far behind today!! Do you care? Probably not however, I refuse to let today go by without posting. Meanwhile please come back tomorrow night when we talk about where I am in my running program  (yes, you want to know) and about gels (the kind you eat and not wear).

So for your viewing pleasure……………….october

running

 

Running a marathon

high kicks

 

kelly Kapowski workout
Image courtesy of Tumblr, inspirefitness
running
courtesy of Imgur

If this still doesn’t satisfy you ……………sign up for a race!! 

12 Days Left & I’m A Headcase!

12 days left!

 

12 days!!

Physically I’m holding up. No shin pain, very very minimum hip soreness, hamstrings and calves are great. I’m not achy. Quads are staying healthy. I’m physically good.  Next go around I probably should do non-weight bearing back exercises to help strengthen to go along with ab exercises but overall I would give myself a B+ (always room for improvement!).
 So what is going on in my head right now…………..
“OH MY GOSH!!!”
 headcase
Okay seriously, at this point I’m feeling:
*Apprehensive
*Anxious
*Nervous
*Excited
*Mental Exhaustion
*Irritability
It’s all natural to feel this way and I know that I’m ready. I know that I got this and that I’ll finish. I’m mentally tough and physically. I’ve beat this body over the last 12 weeks into submission. It knows that at 5 a.m. September 1st  that it will run 26.2 miles and like it!!
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I’m also starting to taper. No it’s not a new craft project, it’s where my mileage is cutting back so my body can store up energy and repair itself for the big day.  I also have to cut back on my calories. Since I won’t be running as many miles in the next 12 days I have to scale back on the calories so I won’t gain weight going into my marathon.  What does that look like for me? Going from 2000 calories to 1650.  I don’ t mind. It’s also a great way for my body to get the signal that I can’t eat as much after my 12 days is up. Once this round of marathon training is done I’ll need to scale back on my eating or otherwise I’ll eat us all out of house and home!! I’m such an eater.
OMG! I love food!! Anyways………..
With all the stuff going through my head (Am I ready, did I run enough, will I fall as flat as a pancake on my face from not training enough) just a barrage of different thoughts but I’m actually okay. Nervous but okay. Anxious but okay.
I’ve told myself if I can complete this marathon in the time that I want to finish (or just finish) then I’m going to be okay.I’ll be okay anyways but I NEED this marathon. I need this finish. If I can do this (which I know I can because quitting is not an option) it’s like a universal sign that I’m going to be okay. That anything from that moment on is just chump change. It’s like a letter from God saying “Brandy, you’re going to be okay.” Crazy, I know but it’s the best way I can describe it.
okay
Have you ever needed something so badly you felt like your life depended on it?
I know my life doesn’t depend on this. I know the world will not stop turning. In my little world, in the spec of dust that I am in this universe, it matters to me.
I didn’t mean to go into all that!!  Whew!  Serisously, the mindset going into these type of events will make you a little crazy. Some people are just all like “Whatever” but not me. I’m all headcase, need a xanax stat! Maybe instead of Pounds to Miles I should be The Headcase Runner.
Okay kids, till next time!
Cheers!
dreams

My Word

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I have a word that has become my “mantra” I guess you could say. It’s …….

It came to me unofficially somewhere along the way after I started my self imposed challenge. It stuck and its now the official Word. I have a private Pinterest board labeled “Committed” and I have a bookmark folder on my browser labeled “Committed.” I even have a label on the right called “Committed.” It was my word long before I think I realized it. It just kind of came to be! 

 I’m committed to changing and keeping a promise to myself. Too many times when the journey got tough I would reason with myself why I should quit, justify it and then quit with a clear conscience. You have no idea how many times since my teen years I’ve done this. I could list all the opportunities I’ve wasted away because of this.  No more. I’m committed.

Secondly in church we have a series called “Change Your Story”.


 Although I’m sure preacher man didn’t have any of this in mind but I realize that essentially that’s what I’m doing. I’m changing my story. Things will get tough. Mentally and physically. However I’m changing my story by staying committed to the challenge. In getting close to May 11th. I can’t wait to see what my final results will be. And it won’t stop there. Life is about looking forward and evolving. It’s okay to remember and reminisce but staying stuck in the past is not good. Living in the past is not okay. We were meant to move forward, grow and experience. 

To get there I just have to keep bathing in the daily motivational shower (and eat right and workout).  Yes I have days where I’m tired, and  small self-doubts try creeping in but I have to refuse it. I have to keep reminding myself what lies ahead of me. 

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Inspre….Motivate

in·spire  (n-spr)
v. in·spiredin·spir·ingin·spires
v.tr.

1. To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence.
2. To fill with enlivening or exalting emotion: hymns that inspire the congregation; an artist who was inspired by Impressionism.
3.

a. To stimulate to action; motivate: a sales force that was inspired by the prospect of a bonus.
b. To affect or touch: The falling leaves inspired her with sadness.
4. To draw forth; elicit or arouse: a teacher who inspired admiration and respect.
5. To be the cause or source of; bring about: an invention that inspired many imitations.
6. To draw in (air) by inhaling.
7. Archaic

a. To breathe on.
b. To breathe life into.
v.intr.

1. To stimulate energies, ideals, or reverence: a leader who inspires by example.
2. To inhale.
mo·ti·vate  (mt-vt)

tr.v. mo·ti·vat·edmo·ti·vat·ingmo·ti·vates

To provide with an incentive; move to action; impel.

Are You Saying "I’m Tired"

73 days till my final weigh in. 73 short days. Heck, we’re already past the last Friday of February! Time flies when you have a goal in sight!  I’m also in a peculiar place.  I’m 27 pounds down. YAY!  Which is not a good bragging right BECAUSE that means I gained 27 pounds in less than a year. I would say somewhere between March of 2012 and November 11, 2012. 27 pounds!! Whaaaaat?!?! I know, I know.

So that means I’m right back to my original fighting weight. Which is great but I still have a total of 33 pounds to lose. My goal by May 11, 2013 is to have lost 23 more pounds from now. That leaves me with the infamous last 10 stubborn pounds to lose after May 11th.  This  past Friday’s weigh in showed that the weight loss train stalled out leaving me with not a loss or a gain (whew). I knew it would by Tuesday. I didn’t feel energetic all week. In fact, I was semi funky feeling. Going through the motions I guess you can say. Not butt  kicking by any means.

In fact, even till today I’ve been tired. Very sleepy feeling. Just blah.  Sunday I slept in, Monday I slept in AND Tuesday. This morning I realized “Oh no!! Old Brandy is creeping back!” So at 4:45 a.m. this morning, I threw on my gym clothes and flew out the door. I did my gym time, went grocery shopping, came home and continued with the full speed ahead mentality.  It’s so easy to get in the “I’m tired” phase and Monday turns into Tuesday and 6 months later and two larger pants sizes you’re still saying “I’m tired.”  You/I have to force yourself to do something. To move forward. To be active. To be alive. Staying in bed ALL THE TIME IS NOT A LIFESTYLE!!  You can choose to be tired and lifeless are you can do something. 
We were not created to lay around, eat Cheetos and watch Honey Boo Boo all day. (P.S. I despise reality TV and I despise that show along with Jersey Shore and many others)  We were meant to live, experience, see and do. 

PSA:
Watching E TV and watching others live a fake, made up, so call wonderful life is not doing you any good. In fact, your craving a life that is fake by watching reality TV.  GET UP AND LIVE YOUR OWN FABULOUS LIFE!! Turn off the TV. JUST TURN IT OFF!!
That also can be extended to internet, Facebook, movies, books. Too much of one thing is never good. We have to live a present, active life. 

Whew, moving on. 

73 days. I know I’ll be a better version of myself in 73 days. So I’m creating a two 30 day plans to keep myself motivated and going. First plan starting March 4th.  Mondays are always a great day to hit the start (or restart) button. 30days after that I’ll take a short less planned break and then continue with  plan #2.  

I’m so excited!! If nothing else, be sure to check back in 73 days. Good stuff is happening!

Cheers!  

Random Rambling Friday!

I haven’t done these in a long LONG time.  So whats there to ramble on about?  Well……let’s see……
This weekend I’ll be running 8 miles. Very excited about this.  Did I mention I have a half-marathon in January?  In Auburn, Alabama. Thanks to my wonderful friend, Pam, the dietitian and well just great friend after she found out about my weight gain (yeah I was hiding it as much as I could) she called me up and told me to sign up for a half marathon and not just any half marathon the one in Auburn(P.S. she’s training for Boston, SO PROUD OF HER!!) She knows me well enough to know I have to have something train for. So the Auburn Classic Half Marathon here I come!! 
One of my favorite little towns.  Years ago in college, two of my dear friends got married and I helped move them over there.  While I was there I got to ride my bike around town and fell in love with the town.  Of course it’s grown since way back then and since then Pam and her hubby have moved there. So gives me even more incentive to get my rear in gear.  
Speaking of rears, I worked mine this week. So much so, that last night (Thursday) I was in bed and passed out by 8:30 p.m.  I mean lights out, not knowing I was even part of this world!  To top it off I slept hard till 7 A.M. this morning.  And of course, today is weigh in day! 
Yeah, there’s no super celebrations today. Thanksgiving celebrations got the best of me.  I GAINED………GAINED two pounds. 

It could have been worse I guess.  Oh well, those peppermint smores were phenomenal so I can’t complain!!  
As of right now I have 161 days to get this weight off.  I’ve given myself a deadline. I’ll be happy with 20 pounds of fat gone.  I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I know it’s going to be frustrating and hard work but I’d rather be thinner and frustrated than fatter and frustrated.  
Just this week I got tired and frustrated because I wanted the weight off. I just wanted it gone.  I wanted to blink my eyes and it be gone.  That’s okay though, I overcame it and lived.  Just 161 more days.  
That is all for today. Just another mindless rambling clearing my head for the weekend. Till next time, Cheers! 

Day 33 Weigh In

The number for the day is………..

That’s right I’m down 5 pounds thank you!!!

I still 175 days till my final goal date but I’m glad to see something happening.  At least the first week was good.  I was diligent. I watched every calorie that went in, I worked out, drank my water and had great results. Woo Hoo!!

It’s a yay me kind of day!!

Day 32

Tomorrow is weight in and I had big lunch today. I also overslept because our furry baby kept me up last night so I decided to workout after work  while the Mr. watched a trio of football, basketball and more football.

If I have time to watch TV I have time to workout!

I don’t know why it’s saying my daily goal is 1340, it’s 1695. Weird.

I’m ready for tomorrow!!  Weigh In!!

Day 31 She’s Going The Distance

I woke up with this song in my head, strange since I haven’t heard it in YEARS!

My favorite lines that I always replace with “she” instead of “he”

He’s going the distance.
He’s going for speed.
He’s going the distance… 

I guess I was mentally preparing myself for spin class at 5:45 a.m.  So early!  However, got my cardio in before I could talk myself out of it later today.

Also felt good about my eating. I felt like I ate so much more than I did.  I guess that’s a good thing. Only 177 days till my goal date.

Day 29 Committed

Day 29 + my birthday + anger = An interesting start to year 34.

If you’ve been following me at all (and if not, oh well) you’ll know that I’ve had enough of this extra weight I’m carrying around. Of course it comes right as I’m starting a new year so I think it’s appropriate. I’m totally committed to this. I’m treating it like I would a marathon. It’s all or nothing. I’m putting my whole heart into this.  
I realize that it’s going to be a major mental challenge.  Like I’ve said for the last 2 days (that’s all it’s been, 2 days) I’m in it. No matter what life throws at me, this weight will come off. I’m giving myself 6 months.  In fact, I put a timer in the side bar so that I can see exactly what I’ve ahead of me.  Fridays will be my weigh in day and I’ll be logging all my nutrition into MyFitnessPal.  Of course I’ll be posting it here as well to keep me accountable. 
So with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve on the way and the challenges it brings all I can say is…………
……………….To be continued

Happy Freakin Birthday

Well I thought I would slide past this one but several friends who shall name nameless (you know who you are) busted me on Facebook so……………there you have it . Happy birthday to me. Can you feel the excitement? No? Yeah me neither. I was hoping to let this one slide. It’s so funny I use to be all like “362 days till my birthday” now I’m I’m like “Wake me up when it’s over!”

However there is one thing I’m excited about today, since I’m on a mission to lose this gut, I’m not going to eat cake, ice cream or anything sweet. It’s just not happening!!  I’m not sad about it one bit. I know there’s a better version of me waiting on the other side of this and eating cake and ice cream won’t get me there.

In fact I’m excited about this as much as I am about running a marathon (trust me, I get excited about those so no sarcasm here!)

Once again if you missed it from yesterday , I don’t care what life throws at me, in 6 months I will be a better version of myself. Period. I’m over this crap.  It’s going to be hard but I’m up to.  In fact I got my “before and before picture” trust there’s two of them and 6 months from now I’ll give my after because I know it’s got to be better than the current “before picture”

To be continued………………….